I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
