Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
