A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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