i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
