i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
