areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
