You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
