I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
