Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
