i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
