does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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