either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
