she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
