Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
