dude i'm inner monologue high
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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