The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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