I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
