You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Randomize
