haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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