its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I licked your asshole in confidence.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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