you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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