: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
