Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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