I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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