Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
