If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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