Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Randomize
