You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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