im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just want to make out with him forever
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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