If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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