Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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