that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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