I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
