Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
