Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
