I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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