he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You've changed since you got that strap on
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
