You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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