"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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