Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
