I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
