Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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