He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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