i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
