I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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