Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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