I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
What a fucking waste of an outfit
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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