I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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