I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
