Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
