"it" just moved
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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