Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
