We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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