Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
