What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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